On the discourse of "flattering" continued…

Wearing an unflattering 3.1 Phillip Lim dress

I wore it here also, the last time I wrote about this very subject!

Recently, I've received some prescriptive feedback about flattering clothing as well as the occasional insult about my shape. This is to be expected and I'm not posting about it with the hopes that other readers will rescue me from anything. I am an adult who is confident in my appearance and my intellect. Obviously (and despite the unquestionable vanity in keeping a photo-heavy personal shopping and wardrobe blog) my appearance is not the only source from where I derive my value as a human being. Furthermore, I believe that criticism is a valuable tool when used effectively. We don't have to agree all the time. Civility might be a plus on occasion, but I also realize that the wheels of social progression were not pushed forward with polite conversation. So I am not of the opinion that we all should be nice to each other all the time.

Notions about what "flatters" a figure are subjective and individual. We all have different tastes and we all have been inundated with messages from the fashion and beauty industries as well as the mass media about how a woman *should* look. We all know the "rules" say that for women, dressing to flatter consists of making the body appear as small and/or thin as possible. Conventional wisdom tells us to be diminutive and small; to achieve thinness by any means necessary, even if doing so means sacrificing health and happiness. I don't claim immunity from any of the above influences. In fact, I've written here and elsewhere about the struggle to find peace in body acceptance. I wear Spanx tights regularly. And there are some days when I *do* try to dress in a way that flatters, in that narrow, traditional sense.

I also believe in health at any size. I reject the discourse of flattering for its inherent sizeism as well as its sexism. Trying to ensure women take up as little space in the world as possible is only one of many ways to minimize our social value and cultural input. Aesthetics are not universal. And beauty standards are not prescriptions to which we have to adhere. Taste, style, and fashion are moving targets that hold different meanings for different people within different social, political, and historical contexts. The Body Project by Joan Jacobs Brumberg takes a historical and cultural approach to the study of this very subject. And Sal of Already Pretty blogs regularly, with intellect, respect, and confidence about these very ideas.

My own notion of what flatters is contextual and malleable. It changes depending on my mood, my physical state, my self esteem, my tasks for that day, etc. I don't tend to focus on wearing only the outfits that hug the narrowest part of my body. I don't tend to dress in a way that provokes traditional "sex appeal." I don't lament that my body isn't model thin or model tall. It never has been. It never will be. I still like my body and am grateful that it is able and relatively healthy. I am glad that it hasn't changed much since I began upgrading my wardrobe because I also really like my clothes and want to continue to make use of them. I am not willing to constantly forgo comfort, stability, or practicality in the name of beauty. And I invite you to disagree with me about it.

Chicago Trip: Outfits and Fitting Room Reviews from Anthropologie and Barneys

The above are from Friday evening, after we both got a little sunburnt and were a little exhausted, enjoying the outdoor music of Summer Dance. I am wearing the Burlapp Bold Boutonnière dress with the Cartography Cardigan, both from Anthropologie. Chris is wearing a Penguin polo.

While we had meant to venture outside of the Loop on Friday evening, we ran out of time and energy. That morning we had taken an unexpectedly long walk from our hotel to Chinatown, then from Chinatown to the lakefront by way of Soldier Field. Thankfully we were dressed comfortably (I'm in Old Navy shorts and an SJP Bitten top).

We instead ended up going to North Michigan and thereabouts on Saturday morning, before the wedding.

We stopped off at the lake again, in between stores. Chris is wearing a James Perse polo, Robert Marc sunglasses, Earnest Sewns, and Asics.

I tried on this incredibly beautiful and fancy 3.1 Phillip Lim sequined dress that was on significant sale but passed because it was slightly too short for my comfort zone. This is a size 8 and it fit fine otherwise so although 3.1 usually runs large, this was pretty true.

I also tried on this funny wrap dress by A.P.C. which I can't find online. This is a large. Although normally APC runs pretty large, this one ran true to size and fit just a little big. I tried on a few other things at Anthropologie too. 

The Salty Seas dress in a size 6 fit me awkwardly.

This clock print Lost Time skirt (size 8) poofed in a way that made me uncomfortable but was otherwise true to size. I paired it with a sale top.

While in the Coop section of Barneys, I grabbed this Ella Moss silk floral dress with a tank shell in size medium (same print different style here). It reminded me very much of the floral print dress I wore to my 8th grade harvest dance in 1994. I actually ended up buying this one and wearing it later that day with some t-strap Chies (similar here), a Forever 21 belt, and a black Balenciaga Day.

For laughs, Chris tried on this Balenciaga suit vest thing at Filene's. He ended up buying an NSF jacket from Barneys. He wore it to an art exhibit we visited in Pittsburgh this week (shown on the right).

We had such a nice trip but didn't have time to do everything we had hoped. I wanted to meet up with a few friends. My friend Jess's band was playing and I was looking forward to meeting Kim from Anthroholic. Sadly, trips always fly by much faster than you can anticipate in the planning stages beforehand and with a wedding and other firm plans in place, other things end up being impossible to fit into the schedule. Hopefully next time we can do even more!

On the Discourse of "Flattering"

This 3.1 Phillip Lim dress was an ebay bargain and also a gamble. I had no idea what size I'd be in this style since I'd never tried it on before. In my experience, 3.1 usually runs very big but one or two dresses I've tried have been very narrow in the hips.
3.1 Phillip Lim bib dress (similar here, here, and here)
Balenciaga flap bag (similar here, here, and here)
Chie Mihara green pumps (similar here, here, here (with closed toe), and here)
Bracelet gift from my mom (I think from Macys)

This dress was not cut narrowly in the hips (this is a 10 but I could have taken an 8). The square cut sleeves and bib style are examples of things I like enough to ignore how "unflattering" they are on me.

It's interesting how the word "flattering" at least when applied to clothing, almost always presumes the word "figure" in front of it. Flattering so often refers to something that makes a woman (at least in my size range) look thinner or smaller or something else deemed conventionally valuable.  I've been thinking about this a lot lately thanks to some of the discussion on a messageboard I frequent (BCO). On a discussion about fashion and feminism a poster named Maitland brought up the curious and often limiting/normative language of "flattering" and I thought it was so astute and something I hadn't previously thought much about.

Although I fall into that language trap often when I think about clothing and style, I don't subscribe to wearing clothing that always tries to "flatter" my figure in the "make it look thin" sense.  I am not lithe and since middle school my body has been hour-glassy and on the "ample" or curvy side of average, so I wear things that I find aesthetically and stylistically pleasing, even if that means wearing what Stacy London or Clinton Kelly would deem "unflattering" to my figure.

What about you? Do you always go for clothing that hits the narrowest part of your body or hugs in places that make you look smaller?

Weekend Travel

Cocktail Dresses by 3.1 Phillip Lim
Flats by Giuseppe Zanotti

Maybe it is the warm weather or maybe it is that I haven't gone anywhere (other than visiting my parents) for a little over a month, but I find myself yearning to travel. So much so, that I assembled the above as inspiration.

Nerd Dress Alert: Nanette Lepore Stella Dallas

My ongoing interest in prints has made difficult the hunt for occasion pieces. But maybe my undocumented, uncorroborated rules are too strict? I tend to wear solids to weddings, unless the fabric or silhouette is formal enough to carry off a look.

Anyway, I nabbed this Nanette Lepore Stella Dallas number off ebay for a song, thinking I could wear it to a wedding or two this summer. The pixelated flowers drew me to the dress. (Which can be found for reasonable prices on ebay. You can also find similar pixel prints here and here).

From far away the print is unremarkable but up close you see something reminiscent of of an 8-bit video game. The only problem is, it is about two sizes too large. I bought a 12 (it was seriously so inexpensively priced) and wish I had waited for a 10 or 8. The overall effect makes me look bulky (especially in the shoulders and bust). Not sure if anything can be done but I am going to take it to the tailor just in case. I panicked in part because of another pixel print dress that got away.

I still long for the above, beaded, beautiful 3.1 Phillip Lim one.

Outfit of the day and my commentary in the Post-Gazette!

I am excited to report that I got to do a little bit of fashion commentary for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. My opinions on Golden Globes Red Carpet fashion were solicited for the article. Although I made many more picks than what ran (one of my favorites was January Jones in Lanvin, for example but they had limited space so it is understandable), I was thrilled to be included and hope to collaborate in the future with my favorite local news outlet!

Thank you to Mackenzie Carpenter who included some of my musings on fashion in the piece and linked my blog!

Today I decided to take inspiration from all the stars that played with volume and ruffles in large doses.

The sweater is Twg, the ruffled collar silk top is J Crew, the pants are Old Navy, the necklace is Banana Republic, and the shoes and bag are MBMJ.

It was supposed to be sunny so I wore my lighter weight wool tweed coat by 3.1 Phillip Lim.

Online Purchase Review: The Outnet

I made my first purchase from The Outnet last month. This is a review of my experience.

I decided to bite on some low priced items from their clearance sale.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I found an APC dress and a 3.1 Phillip Lim dress deeply discounted.

The Outnet's periodic Flash Sales and their steady stream of new, past-season-but-seasonally-appropriate arrivals make it well worth a regular visit, in my experience. The detailed fit information, numerous photographs, and fantastic styling of items make it as useful and enjoyable an online research destination as it's fancier sister site, Net-A-Porter.

The only thing that could potentially improve the already detailed information would be customer reviews. That would probably take away from the site's sleekness but because it is already a discount destination, it wouldn't effect the status of the Outnet brand.

I still couldn't see them moving in this direction even though so many websites have opted to allow customers to voice their opinions (Revolve, Anthropologie, etc.). Thanks to online marketplace pioneers that first to permitted consumers to voice their praise and critiques of electronic and entertainment items, sellers of clothing, footwear, and accessories, like Zappos and Amazon (which now owns Zappos), have ushered in a trend that enables customers to weigh in on fit, quality, value, comfort, appearance, etc. I cannot help but expect that more and more websites will follow suit, eventually compelling luxury etailers to cave to demand.

But what Outnet lacks in reviews, it makes up for in customer service. My items arrived swiftly (considering they came from across the pond) and were packaged not in the chic hard black boxes of Net-a-Porter, but in a practical, bright white, amply sized, reusable zip-top shopping bag, emblazoned with their colorful circle logo and slogan, "It's Chic-onomics!" The items inside were wrapped carefully and separately, in white tissue paper. When I opened my package, it hardly felt like discount shopping.

Gilt Groupe and Bluefly before them, had really cornered the market on making discount feel deluxe, with their special packaging and helpful customer service. Alhough I've heard mixed reviews about Gilt, they've always been helpful to me. Bluefly has always been extremely accommodating and still has the best return policy of any of these sites, even though they reduced it from 90 days to 60. Still, The Outnet is worth considering if you can find a good price on something. I haven't used my reusable tote because I have all those Baggus but it will definitely be useful at some point!