Self-image in the reflection of my daughter

As I continue to recover from pregnancy and birth, I find myself feeling surprisingly positive. My body has changed for sure. I accept that it (much like life) will never be the same in ways both positive and negative. That was a part of the deal struck when my partner and I decided to plan our family. But it's hard to be overly critical of a body that grew, birthed (albeit with interventions), and nourished my healthy baby girl. It's hard also to harbor the same mixed feelings about my physical appearance -- those ones that plagued me as an adolescent and early post-adolescent -- when everyone says that baby girl looks just like me. She has such a sweet, lovable, curious face. Her face  indeed resembles my own baby photos closely. I cringe at the thought of her being hard on herself about her looks as she matures. And when I think about the overly critical, appearance-obsessed world in which she will grow, I worry.

There was and still is something validating about the fact that my younger sister and I look so alike. Even though I can be hard on myself, I think she's gorgeous. And I feel the same way about my daughter. My heart breaks at the thought of her or my sister being so self-critical. So why should I be  hard on myself? It sets a bad example and it just doesn't add up! It also makes me wish I hadn't put my own parents through the ringer with my own adolescent self-criticism. The idea that Emilia might someday find fault with a visage that I find so beautiful is kind of devastating.

The outfit above was my trying out options for Valentine's Day. Although the wrap fits, I know it would look way better if I steamed it and put it on over tights. It's too cold to wear it sans tights anyway and even though I'm 10 weeks postpartum I still really like the added support from control top. Still, trying stuff on without Spanx helps me keep perspective on where my body is at the moment. 

Outfit details:
DVF Greer in spring shadows print
Bravado tank underneath
MBMJ pumps
RedEnvelope necklace (c/o)

Postpartum bodies and newborn photoshoots

My very sweet mother-in-law gifted to Chris and me the opportunity to have Emilia photographed as a newborn by one of her coworkers who also has a side business as a photographer (Keja Photography). We hoped to get a few family shots while the photographer was in our home because ... we don't often have photographers in our home. So just 6 days postpartum, I found myself facing the conundrum of dressing my new mom body for the camera. Thankfully, my ankles decided to come back to me that morning and I was generally feeling on the mend. Of course we were both pretty sleep deprived. Chris and I hadn't slept much in the hospital due to adrenaline, interruptions, and the tasks of taking care of a new baby. By the time we got home, things weren't much different. But I grabbed one of my favorite maternity dresses (by Maternal America), put on some make up, and smiled for the camera. The baby was a total trooper and slept through most of the pictures. My mom and mother-in-law played dutiful photo assistants.

Although it is easy in this new state of physical transition to be critical of myself, I'm glad I decided to be photographed. A few months ago I read an article by Allison Tate about keeping mothers in photos... she writes that so often moms of all ages shy away from having their picture taken, lamenting x, y, or z random self-critiqued aspect of their physical appearance. The results are that negative self-talk becomes normalized (further) and children wind up with fewer photos of their mothers throughout life. I didn't want to capitulate to the temptations of bashing my post-baby body, even if it feels very unfamiliar to me and (similar to pregnancy) brings its own set of physical discomforts.

Like anyone else, I have good and bad body image days. This was true before and during pregnancy, as I am sure it will be now that I'm postpartum. I will say that during pregnancy it felt as though my pangs over body image were amplified in part due to the unknown and uncontrollable aspects of inhabiting a pregnant body. But no matter how critical I felt toward the end and how unfamiliar my postpartum body feels to me currently, I am determined to embrace positivity and cut myself some slack for my daughter, if not for myself. It's hard enough to grow up weathering the pervasive social expectations heaped on women and girls without also hearing it from one's parents.

Besides, this body grew and nourished my eventual child. Knowing that, I can't knock it too hard! 

Missing my former favorites

It is fruitless to lament the loss of my pre-pregnant body, especially when I have no way to anticipate how/where things will wind up, post-partum. But I do miss my "regular" summer clothes. If it is hard now, the fall might be impossible! And I am not even a person who really likes summer clothing.

Here are some examples of what I would be wearing if my stomach didn't protrude more and more, each day:

Hopefully my enthusiasm for these pieces will provide incentive to return to some semblance of what I regard to be my "normal" (imperfect, curvy, but confident in my own skin). I didn't anticipate having my body image complicated by pregnancy but I also didn't realize how destabilizing it would feel to surrender control to the space of (necessary) body transitions. Don't get me wrong. I am happy that my body is doing what it needs to, in order to accommodate a developing fetus. But I would be denying my own (admitted) vanity to feign complete ambivalence. Are there any "been there, done that" folks who felt similarly?

In which pregnant Jess reviews clingy Bailey 44 Maia Column Dress

Maia Column dress

When I was last visiting my local Anthropologie, I debated whether or not I was feeling bold enough to try on a Bailey 44 column dress while inhabiting what many women refer to as the "in between." I really think Bailey 44 columns make beautiful pieces to emphasize all types of figures, including prominently pregnant ones. That is why I bought the almost tunic-length, long-sleeved top version in San Diego a few months back. On my better body image days I also find myself wishing I had bought one of the longer iterations of the column when I had the chance. 

But during this period when my whole body is squishier than normal but not quite "pregnant looking," it feels risky to embrace a body-conscious silhouette. In the spirit of rejecting the discourse of flattering, I grabbed both the Ines column and the Maia column. Ines was only available in ivory and in medium, which were not at all workable and bordered on obscene. To keep the blog PG, I am refraining from posting those photos. The Maia was actually super cute and the stripes tricked the eyes enough to make current me look and feel very much like pre-pregnancy me, even with the extra weight and inches all over. I grabbed a large which was perfect for now but would be too short to suit me throughout this pregnancy. It seemed clingier and less stretchy than the Tiered Stripes of yore but the fantastically flattering effect remained. The dress is lined and provides decent coverage for something meant to be tight. I also liked that the length is available in petite or regular. I am wearing regular, size large which I thought was a nice length. I think this dress runs true to size but a bit smaller than the Tiered Stripes from collections previous. Ines runs a good bit thinner and smaller than the stripey versions because of the different fabrication. I hope this is helpful information!

Now I'm curious about the cap sleeved version and kind of wish they'd release it in a midi length. Are you sick of the column dresses? Do you own one or many?

The bad luck outfit

By Malene Birger dress

Aqua cashmere cardigan

Spanx reversible tights

Rosegold Liz booties

Kate Spade belt

Michael Kors watch and misc. bracelets from Target, Hiptique, and a flea market

This dress is one of those dresses that I coveted mostly because of how it looked laying flat, unfettered, and un-modeled on Net-a-Porter.

I should know by now that if a dress looks better lying flat versus being fitted onto lithe mannequins then it will probably be less than "flattering" on my non-lithe body. And on some level, of course I am aware of this. That doesn't mean that I will not be overtaken by irrationality on occasion (i.e. sale goggles). Besides, my theories about flattering are somewhat removed from "making a body look as small as possible." 

I pined over this dress back in 2008 but it never became discounted enough until it made its way to Outnet. Once on Outnet at 85% off, I pounced. When it arrived I realized that it needed to be altered for length. The combo of its volume and its length overwhelmed me. Done. I have to say that even though I've altered it and I truly love it in theory, it still hasn't been worn very much. Part of the reason is because I am in a total styling rut (especially when it comes to this dress). I wore it nearly the exact same way the last time it saw daylight (which I don't think I blogged but I could be wrong). And although I like repeats and monogamous dressing, if I can't figure out creative, new ways to style something it will be more likely to sit in my closet. For now it has a home but I think I need to branch out from the instinctive black pairings and try to wear it with color.

I welcome styling ideas and feedback!

*as an aside, I titled this a bad luck outfit because I proceeded to have a very bad luck day after I taught my first class. I don't care to relive it through language but as a slightly superstitious and overthinking person, it will take a failsafe occasion to remove some of the acquired bad vibes from this ensemble.

Wear the Flattering Shift (or not!)

Megan of the Pittsburgh-based, tech-savvy, made-to-measure clothing start-up, Wear the Shift posted a smart followup to the entry I wrote a few weeks back about my rejection of the discourse of flattering. I encourage you to check it out! And I thank her for the link love! It makes me feel really flattered (pun intended) to have provoked additional thoughts about the subject.

On the discourse of "flattering" continued…

Wearing an unflattering 3.1 Phillip Lim dress

I wore it here also, the last time I wrote about this very subject!

Recently, I've received some prescriptive feedback about flattering clothing as well as the occasional insult about my shape. This is to be expected and I'm not posting about it with the hopes that other readers will rescue me from anything. I am an adult who is confident in my appearance and my intellect. Obviously (and despite the unquestionable vanity in keeping a photo-heavy personal shopping and wardrobe blog) my appearance is not the only source from where I derive my value as a human being. Furthermore, I believe that criticism is a valuable tool when used effectively. We don't have to agree all the time. Civility might be a plus on occasion, but I also realize that the wheels of social progression were not pushed forward with polite conversation. So I am not of the opinion that we all should be nice to each other all the time.

Notions about what "flatters" a figure are subjective and individual. We all have different tastes and we all have been inundated with messages from the fashion and beauty industries as well as the mass media about how a woman *should* look. We all know the "rules" say that for women, dressing to flatter consists of making the body appear as small and/or thin as possible. Conventional wisdom tells us to be diminutive and small; to achieve thinness by any means necessary, even if doing so means sacrificing health and happiness. I don't claim immunity from any of the above influences. In fact, I've written here and elsewhere about the struggle to find peace in body acceptance. I wear Spanx tights regularly. And there are some days when I *do* try to dress in a way that flatters, in that narrow, traditional sense.

I also believe in health at any size. I reject the discourse of flattering for its inherent sizeism as well as its sexism. Trying to ensure women take up as little space in the world as possible is only one of many ways to minimize our social value and cultural input. Aesthetics are not universal. And beauty standards are not prescriptions to which we have to adhere. Taste, style, and fashion are moving targets that hold different meanings for different people within different social, political, and historical contexts. The Body Project by Joan Jacobs Brumberg takes a historical and cultural approach to the study of this very subject. And Sal of Already Pretty blogs regularly, with intellect, respect, and confidence about these very ideas.

My own notion of what flatters is contextual and malleable. It changes depending on my mood, my physical state, my self esteem, my tasks for that day, etc. I don't tend to focus on wearing only the outfits that hug the narrowest part of my body. I don't tend to dress in a way that provokes traditional "sex appeal." I don't lament that my body isn't model thin or model tall. It never has been. It never will be. I still like my body and am grateful that it is able and relatively healthy. I am glad that it hasn't changed much since I began upgrading my wardrobe because I also really like my clothes and want to continue to make use of them. I am not willing to constantly forgo comfort, stability, or practicality in the name of beauty. And I invite you to disagree with me about it.

My tight dress in real life

Excuse the classy throne pictured behind me. haha

I snapped this shot after eating four courses of food and drinks. And thank goodness that dress was stretchy. But I felt good. It was really fun to wear something unlike my tried and true. And I was glad to get use from something that I have owned and not worn for years. Thank you for your input.

On wearing tight dresses

Black Halo Jackie O dress

(in black or pink)

Chies

(Disregard my bedhead and lack of make up. I snapped these like Cher from Clueless to get an idea of how I'd look. 

When I feel insecure it's as though mirrors can't be trusted).

As the overwhelming majority of my outfits indicate, I tend to avoid clingy silhouettes on my lower half. I'd rather put on a tent dress that creates a potato-esque shape than wear something that hugs me all over. But tonight I am going with some friends to a place I wouldn't normally go. And both the scene and the dress code indicate that I would fit with the crowd if I wore something tight. Although my body image is usually sound, I'm also human. And on occasion (on a bad self esteem day) the mere thought of wearing something tight on my lower half gives me a pang of panic. My body insecurities stem mostly from the span of my hips and thighs, both of which are functional (making my irrationality feel even more silly when I confront it and think it through). In fact the realization that every bathing suit I'd buy would still expose those parts led me to start wearing bikinis (despite inhabiting what most would deem a decidedly un-bikini body). Realizing my own irrationality makes me interested in wearing this dress. Of course, it's possible that I will cave and wear a girlie, comfortingly full skirt. Still the opportunity to break out of my comfort zone is tempting.

I  bought this dress a few years ago when I was feeling relatively body confident. Although my shape hasn't changed that much in the interim, I never wore it out of my house. It's so silly to hang on to something because you like the idea of it more so than how it looks on you. But I can't get rid of this dress. I altered its length to my body. And I *want* to feel like it is something I can wear, regardless of the number on the scale or the size on the tag. I believe in health at any size. And I know if I saw another woman wearing it, I would think "hot dress!" It is just that I have never been the kind of gal who wears hot dresses. Plus wearing it would be in defiance of "the rules" for dressing a body my size. Rules with which I strongly disagree. Rules that make women of all sizes feel inadequate. I want to be the sort of person who is comfortable defying rules that make women feel irrationally bad about their able and healthy bodies. But can the mere act of wearing a dress (that, lets face it, conforms to sexy and even sexist standards) even accomplish such a thing? I know I am over thinking. But that is my way...

Are there shapes and silhouettes to which you gravitate or favor in your dressing? If given an occasion to try something new with little risk (beyond the confrontation of your own admittedly irrational hangups), would you take it? And can the act of wearing a tight dress on a non-model frame do anything more than conform to/confirm ideals that are sexist anyway?

Blogging and Body Image

When Galadarling requested blogger contributions on the subject of blogging and body image, I decided to up a brief submission.

I focused on that nagging urge to compare one's own body with others. A friend of mine once said that no matter how you feel about your body in any given moment, there will always be someone who wants to be the size you are right now. For me, that idea begins to put things into perspective. When I think of it in combination with the knowledge that I am never as critical or hard on others as I am on myself, I feel liberated from the need to be negative about my own body.

Here is what I wrote:

Much like socio-economic class, bodies have often been the elephant in the blogosphere dressing room. So few of us discuss the subject openly (though Sal of Already Pretty does a fantastic job raising awareness and promoting acceptance). Despite the large amounts of silence, bodies and body image can be a source of significant internal struggle for many women. When it comes to blogging and body image, we must resist comparisons. Many of us exist within a media environment where the impulse to compare “who wore it best” and to scrutinize the bodies of women have become reactive, knee-jerk entitlements, fostered through celebrity tabloid culture. It would be naive to disregard the ways that such thinking can trickle down into our ordering of everyday, non-celebrity bodies. But we must suppress those impulses for the good of ourselves and others.

One of the things that has helped me in my own resistance is to hold firm to my feminist beliefs. Just as I believe there is room in the fashion/style blogosphere for all types of styles, I believe there is also room for all types of bodies/shapes. With a positive attitude, I strive to be less hard on myself when it comes to my appearance. Although it might be difficult to remember while lurking in such an aesthetic realm, we are not the sum of how we look. Our blogs encompass brief glimpses of lives much more complex and much more dynamic than mere surfaces can deliver. I’ve learned to accept the aspects of my image that bred insecurities in my youth. In a way, this has become a side effect of active blogging. I work every day to unlearn judgmental impulses and the habitual need to self-scrutinize. I remind myself that when I read blogs, just as when I see women in my day to day life, I do not see their flaws. I try to extend myself the same kindness. Most of us are too caught up in our own responsibilities, challenges, and enjoyments to spend time picking others apart. But the decision to stop those impulses is exactly that: a decision. And paths to self acceptance are neither linear or smooth. There are good and bad days. But at the end of most of them, I realize that comparisons (based on what others have or how others look) are unproductive and unfruitful.

You can read the entire entry with the thoughts of many very smart, stylish ladies here. Thank you for including me and organizing submissions on this very important subject, Gala!

Bathing Suit Season and Body Anxieties

The cheapest maxi dress coverup I could find at Gabes

Chris in Buzios

Memorial Day marks the official opening of swimming pool season around these parts (though sadly for me but smartly for local families, the Pittsburgh city pools wait until the end of the public school year to open). Although I bought a bathing suit before my December trip to Brazil, I am always on the look out for swimwear that can support a bustier bosom. I've come to adore the Triumph For Your Curves brand (even if the name is silly) for their fun prints and wide range of bikini tops with underwire (sized like bras in a wide range of cup sizes, and everything!). I've also heard great things about the Figleaves in-house brands (Midnight Grace, etc.) and Freya, though I cannot speak to their longevity or support from personal experience. 

Although I have far from what most would consider a bikini body, I started wearing one within the last year or so. I decided that I was sick of tankinis (since I always pulled up the tank part of the top to sun worship) and one pieces (which made going to the bathroom a pain in the butt). I am no stranger to those body image issues that effect most of us. But I have come to feel relatively bold when it comes to swimwear, especially during out of town travel. It already helps when you are in a place where no one knows you except for your travel partner(s). But when you couple it with the relatively exposed swimwear culture of Brazil, I was even more confident running around, flabby body and all.

As examined in this entry from feminist fashion blogger Millie of Interrobangs Anonymous and posted on the website of MrsBossaDoesTheDo, vacations carry liberatory and experimental potential. An otherwise safe, static style identity can try new things without the watchfuls eyes of preconceived expectations. I wrote in the comments section:

There is something really liberating about being in a place where no one knows me (except the person with who I am traveling). Fewer expectations and fewer closet options mean that I am simultaneously less and more confined, if that makes sense. I don’t have to feel like I am dressing my usual “part” because I won’t see anyone who usually sees me but I have such a smaller range of options because I tend to try to pack lightly. 

One of my favorite things about traveling to Brazil last December was how completely body unconscious people were on the beaches. Granted, my boyshort bottoms had more coverage than most of the men’s trunks, but I found it really refreshing to see women of all ages and shapes and sizes wearing the tiniest of bikini styles without reservation. I wonder on some level if this is merely a product of availability? If swimsuit retailers there only sell tiny suits, then everyone has to wear them by default. But those typical anxieties about how my body looked on the beach (the feelings that I try to fight because they run so contrary to my feminist beliefs) were a little less intense as a result. I felt comfortable because 1. no one knew me and 2. everyone there wore tiny bikinis, making my less-tiny-but-still-bikini style seem modest. 

I obviously cannot speak for the women who live in Brazil (a culture where I have read that plastic surgery and plastic surgery tourism are more common and less costly than in the US, and gender roles/expectations for conventional femininity remain relatively rigid in part because of ongoing influences of the Catholic faith and the prevailing traditional standards of beauty). But for me it felt really powerful to walk around the beach without a coverup and without the same anxieties about body judgments.

Are you ready (I mean emotionally, not physically) for bathing suit season? I'm trying to get back to how I felt in December, regardless of the location of the pool or beach... But I've got a ways to go. 

For more feminist style content, visit here.

In a blur OOTD and my bare leg anxieties

Rainforest Morning shirtdress (anthro)

MBMJ Daisy Cardi in ivory

Anthro belt

Kate Spade Bon Shopper tote

Flats from Brazil

Between my city tax bill, my car repairs, and the desire to replace my living room furniture, cameras are falling low on my list of needs. The above blurriness fuels a pro-camera position, though. I apologize for it! I couldn't get the flash to work and that was as focused as flashless would be. I'm still too timid for solo outdoor ootd shots!

Just in case I hit the lottery (which I would need to start playing in order to win), I'd love some hybrid or starter DSLR recommendations. I would prefer to keep the price in a reasonable range, including my first lens or whatever is needed. 

The dress is one I was glad to buy last year because it matches the lining in the Two Paths trench. I feel like it exposes more cleavage than I want, though. The U shape of the top is difficult to pin. It's been warm so I've gone bare legged which is always a rough transition for me. I really do depend on the coverage of tights. I feel so exposed when I have to stop wearing them. Between feeling pale and self conscious, I tend to wear tights for longer than most.  I try to remind myself that the critiques I wage about my own body I cannot fathom thinking about other people. I need to be less hard on myself and have more faith in the fact that most people don't have the time, energy, or critical personalities to spend evaluating the bodies of others. Unfortunately the ubiquity of harsh tabloid caliber body snarks have influenced my own self-evaluations...

Anyone else find it tough to transition from having covered to bare legs?

Weekend Casual OOTD

Alma Mater blazer from Anthro

J Crew Rosette sweater

J Crew chinos

Gucci wedges (in suede here)

Back in February I bought these chinos at J. Crew on major sale. They were about a size too big and way too long but I figured I would branch out from my comfort zone of printed dresses and skirts to try something trendy for a change. I knew I wanted to cuff them and wear them baggy so too big and too long fit the bill. The pants remind me of my favorite pair I wore to death in the 90s. Those were a steel gray color but the feel of them was exactly the same. They're slouchy and I am sure that my somewhat short, non-lithe body was not who they had in mind when they imagined people wearing slouchy chinos, but I enjoy doing something different now and then.

Twirling in Liane

I wore this dress to the opera a few weeks ago. I saw Donzetti's Lucia di Lammermoor. Its emotions were unrelenting and powerful. I found myself teary and wondering if there would be a smidge of comic relief. There wasn't. But it was an incredible performance at the Benedum. Because it was an afternoon show on a Sunday, I knew that outfits would run the gamut from casual to the nines. I opted for the sixes and was happy with the medium.

A few years ago I became obsessed with this By Malene Birger dress called Liane. Although I was unfamiliar with the designer and sizing, something about the romantic antique floral print really resonated with my girlie but kind of old fashioned aesthetic. When the Outnet marked it 80% off, I pounced. And after some alterations, I am pretty pleased with the dress. Although it doesn't really "flatter" my figure, in that it makes me look sort of potato shaped, I really adore how the dress moves. I can't help by sway my hips a little extra just to perpetuate motion and flow. And when no one is looking it is definitely the best for twirling!

In defense of potato sacks

I adore the print and vivid colors of this See by Chloé landscape print dress (from 2008 maybe?) but when I found a deal on it, the only available size was a few sizes too large. Because it already was meant to fit loosely, this meant it gave/gives me a uniquely potato-like shape. As a lover of easy sack dresses, and despite the disservice they do in terms of "flattering" my figure, I wear it anyway. Conventional wisdom aside, I've never been a big believer in conflating the idea of what is "flattering" with a garment's diminutive effect on the body. So I wear lots of sack dresses despite my large bosom and despite my ample hips. Some dresses just look best when they are loose and easy. For this one, belting doesn't help because it just emphasizes the garment's looseness everywhere else.

Instead if I am not feeling super confident having a sack friendly day, I gather the dress as best I can underneath a cardigan or jacket. Sure, the best solution for this particular style would have been to wait to buy this dress until I found it in the right size. But I had no idea how it would fit since I never saw it in person. And although I could consider altering it, I would hate to lose part of the landscape fabric in the process. In defiance of the "rules" I will wear these loose styles happily and feel comfortable and easy every time I do.

Anthropologie's Babergh Dress: Yay or Nay? (Aka, am I too curvy for this dress?)

I saw how the Babergh dress looked incredible on the entire Anthro-centric blogosphere (see Goldenmeans' comprehensive list of reviews at the bottom of her own here) but was still not convinced it would work on my curvy figure. This week I managed to spot one singular dress in my entire store and it happened to be an 8. I knew it would be a stretch because this shape usually requires me to size (way) up, but somehow it sort of fit. The quality of the dress was really fantastic and I actually like the funny flowers on the shoulder. I had plenty of room in the waist and bust and although my hips were hugged, I *think* it is supposed to be that way. In fact, I thought this dress was a total win until I turned to the side and saw this:

It's a little more Jessica Rabbit (and a little less Jess Pgh) than I typically wear. Can I pull this off? Specifically can I teach 18-24 year olds in this? Or will I be venturing into "inappropriate" territory?

From fitting room to real life: the plague of the distorting mirror

I've noticed a few times now that my fitting room photographs, reliant upon the mirror to reflect an image, offer a somewhat misleading portrait. And that portrait often depicts something more traditionally "flattering" in that: my body looks thinner than it is. Now this is not a place where I am compliment-grubbing but rather objectively trying to wrap my mind around this unethical and common sales strategy.

Note the above. Granted, I was wearing different undergarments that could have skewed the appearance slightly, but on the whole this is my body with only about 48 hours between when I tried on the dress in the store and wore it in real life. Does anyone else notice the significant difference in how the dress looks? What do you do when you get home and notice a garment lost its fitting room luster? Over at Fashionable Academics, La Historiadora de Moda ran into this issue after purchasing an outfit for her dissertation defense (Congratulations again!) at Macys. Where else have you run into this problem?

Wedding Event Dressing: The Best Laid Plans

I know (and confessed as much) that I will remember too vividly whichever outfits I choose to sport for the various wedding-related events I must attend, up to and including the wedding itself on October 9th. And I thought I had determined what to wear for each major component. Circumstantially, I have already experienced what I consider to be four wedding-related "events" that had me in clothing from Anthropologie 75% of the time.

Although I didn't know it was going to happen, I wore this orange velvet "Orchard Walk" jumper by James Coviello (from Anthropologie in 2007) during the snowy walk through Friendship Park, when Chris proposed on December 5th, 2008.

Afterwards, for our engagement dinner at Legume Bistro I wore an ivory and gold threaded bow dress by BCBG.

For wedding dress shopping, I wanted to wear something that was pretty but comfortable. So I picked the "Bold Boutonnière" dress by Burlapp (Anthropologie fall 2009) for multiple trips to various boutiques.

And I decided to wear the "Hudson and Houston" dress by Tibi (Anthropologie 2008) for our engagement photos in the park where he proposed.

There are three major events remaining: the shower, the rehearsal dinner, and the wedding. For the events to come, I have a few contenders in mind. But who knows what I will end up picking. I usually like to consider things like weather, setting, mood, and temperature. But having a plan in place is always a good idea.

I will likely wear this Nanette Lepore Paris Cafe Sheath dress from fall 2009 to the shower. But I need to do a sitting test first, because if it is warm I won't want to wear tights.

Since our wedding date was picked to be during the height of fall's changing leaves, I envisioned wearing this printed Chloé dress (from spring 2007 but with a fall palette). But I haven't decided since it isn't necessarily "flattering." It seems worthy of being an event dress, but it isn't really that traditional for rehearsal dinner attire.

For the wedding, I am wearing a dress by Stephen Yearick and come October, I promise to share photos of it! That won't change at the last minute, in part because it would be impractical.  But the other plans could go out the window if I find some things I decide are more fitting for how I picture the occasions.

How do you pick an outfit in which to make memories? And does the fact that you will likely be photographed more than you can anticipate change how you choose?