(Disregard my bedhead and lack of make up. I snapped these like Cher from Clueless to get an idea of how I'd look.
When I feel insecure it's as though mirrors can't be trusted).
As the overwhelming majority of my outfits indicate, I tend to avoid clingy silhouettes on my lower half. I'd rather put on a tent dress that creates a potato-esque shape than wear something that hugs me all over. But tonight I am going with some friends to a place I wouldn't normally go. And both the scene and the dress code indicate that I would fit with the crowd if I wore something tight. Although my body image is usually sound, I'm also human. And on occasion (on a bad self esteem day) the mere thought of wearing something tight on my lower half gives me a pang of panic. My body insecurities stem mostly from the span of my hips and thighs, both of which are functional (making my irrationality feel even more silly when I confront it and think it through). In fact the realization that every bathing suit I'd buy would still expose those parts led me to start wearing bikinis (despite inhabiting what most would deem a decidedly un-bikini body). Realizing my own irrationality makes me interested in wearing this dress. Of course, it's possible that I will cave and wear a girlie, comfortingly full skirt. Still the opportunity to break out of my comfort zone is tempting.
I bought this dress a few years ago when I was feeling relatively body confident. Although my shape hasn't changed that much in the interim, I never wore it out of my house. It's so silly to hang on to something because you like the idea of it more so than how it looks on you. But I can't get rid of this dress. I altered its length to my body. And I *want* to feel like it is something I can wear, regardless of the number on the scale or the size on the tag. I believe in health at any size. And I know if I saw another woman wearing it, I would think "hot dress!" It is just that I have never been the kind of gal who wears hot dresses. Plus wearing it would be in defiance of "the rules" for dressing a body my size. Rules with which I strongly disagree. Rules that make women of all sizes feel inadequate. I want to be the sort of person who is comfortable defying rules that make women feel irrationally bad about their able and healthy bodies. But can the mere act of wearing a dress (that, lets face it, conforms to sexy and even sexist standards) even accomplish such a thing? I know I am over thinking. But that is my way...
Are there shapes and silhouettes to which you gravitate or favor in your dressing? If given an occasion to try something new with little risk (beyond the confrontation of your own admittedly irrational hangups), would you take it? And can the act of wearing a tight dress on a non-model frame do anything more than conform to/confirm ideals that are sexist anyway?