Wearing an unflattering 3.1 Phillip Lim dress
Recently, I've received some prescriptive feedback about flattering clothing as well as the occasional insult about my shape. This is to be expected and I'm not posting about it with the hopes that other readers will rescue me from anything. I am an adult who is confident in my appearance and my intellect. Obviously (and despite the unquestionable vanity in keeping a photo-heavy personal shopping and wardrobe blog) my appearance is not the only source from where I derive my value as a human being. Furthermore, I believe that criticism is a valuable tool when used effectively. We don't have to agree all the time. Civility might be a plus on occasion, but I also realize that the wheels of social progression were not pushed forward with polite conversation. So I am not of the opinion that we all should be nice to each other all the time.
Notions about what "flatters" a figure are subjective and individual. We all have different tastes and we all have been inundated with messages from the fashion and beauty industries as well as the mass media about how a woman *should* look. We all know the "rules" say that for women, dressing to flatter consists of making the body appear as small and/or thin as possible. Conventional wisdom tells us to be diminutive and small; to achieve thinness by any means necessary, even if doing so means sacrificing health and happiness. I don't claim immunity from any of the above influences. In fact, I've written here and elsewhere about the struggle to find peace in body acceptance. I wear Spanx tights regularly. And there are some days when I *do* try to dress in a way that flatters, in that narrow, traditional sense.
I also believe in health at any size. I reject the discourse of flattering for its inherent sizeism as well as its sexism. Trying to ensure women take up as little space in the world as possible is only one of many ways to minimize our social value and cultural input. Aesthetics are not universal. And beauty standards are not prescriptions to which we have to adhere. Taste, style, and fashion are moving targets that hold different meanings for different people within different social, political, and historical contexts. The Body Project by Joan Jacobs Brumberg takes a historical and cultural approach to the study of this very subject. And Sal of Already Pretty blogs regularly, with intellect, respect, and confidence about these very ideas.
My own notion of what flatters is contextual and malleable. It changes depending on my mood, my physical state, my self esteem, my tasks for that day, etc. I don't tend to focus on wearing only the outfits that hug the narrowest part of my body. I don't tend to dress in a way that provokes traditional "sex appeal." I don't lament that my body isn't model thin or model tall. It never has been. It never will be. I still like my body and am grateful that it is able and relatively healthy. I am glad that it hasn't changed much since I began upgrading my wardrobe because I also really like my clothes and want to continue to make use of them. I am not willing to constantly forgo comfort, stability, or practicality in the name of beauty. And I invite you to disagree with me about it.
