Professorial Pregnancy Part 3: In the trenches

Thank goodness for self-effacing jokes in the classroom to lighten the awkwardness of my exacerbated clumsiness! I've never described myself as a graceful person but this decreased depth perception has made moments of my physical classroom presence into a classic slapstick comedy. For example, when I literally ran belly-first (ouch!) into the empty desk I was trying to maneuver around, I felt compelled to remark aloud that "I used to fit through there." It was a big hit. Thank goodness also for kind and sympathetic students!

In addition to obvious physical differences like the fact that I feel tired on my feet sooner than ever before, I've faced some moments that push toward the edges of my professional boundaries. For instance, I've had to navigate through far more personal questions from understandably curious and well-intentioned people than I'm used to at work. In most circumstances, these are folks who would  be removed from the details of my private health circumstances.

Pregnancy feels so personal (even alienating, at times) and yet in many ways beyond one's control, it morphs further and further into public view. It becomes fodder for public commentary. I have the good fortune of being surrounded by many enthusiastic loved ones with who I feel my pregnancy is shared. Physically, I may be the only one who experiences it as a constant, evolving visceral state but those feelings of excitement and anticipation bond me to my family, immeasurably.

As I remarked in part 2, these later stages of pregnancy announce themselves on my behalf. Pregnancy becomes public knowledge because that transitioning/transitioned body makes it so. And its public-yet-unspoken announcement might even yield gossip. 

It is perhaps no surprise that my female students seem especially interested in the details of my pregnancy. I find it endearing but also complex. Rarely do I have time to suspend my sense of humility and dwell on the fact that professors often serve as role models for their students. For younger professors who perhaps seem more approachable to their students, the boundaries of professionalism might be tested if they're not held firm. But pregnancy blurs the boundaries of public with private, creating a space for personal and forthcoming conversations.

Since learning of my pregnancy, students have asked me things about my personal life that in other contexts would probably make me bristle. Their excitement is at times palpable and I can't help but feel gratitude and empathy. I realize from my own experience of being a student that this is a curious, question-provoking event. I also know that I looked up to many of my professors. I don't mean to inflate or exaggerate my influence but on some level, it kind of comes with the job.

Through all my years of post-secondary schooling I only encountered one pregnant professor. I remember vividly the day that she shared her news with us. We actually cheered! It was in the middle of the term and I hadn't noticed that her belly had grown with each passing week until she mentioned it. It felt supremely fun and exciting to be in on something so personal with her. It reminded me of how my own mom always remembered with fondness the students she taught the year she was pregnant with me (her firstborn). I imagine that some day I will look back on this semester with similar nostalgia. I also know that there is something anticipatory and unique about being taught by a pregnant professor.

In informal polls of friends and relatives, only a handful of them recalled having pregnant professors in their post-secondary education. On some level I realize that my very on-campus existence is a bit of a novelty. But thankfully, college students are wrapped up in their own lives, schedules, and responsibilities. So I don't mean to project some enhanced opportunity for impact through representation. The reality is there are far more blasé attitudes about this than anything else. And that is a good thing. I want the quality of my instruction to make a bigger impression than the size of my belly. But I still can't help but wonder about how I'm perceived by students and colleagues. Especially now that my body speaks for me...

If you went to/are in college, did you ever have a pregnant professor? If you are an educator, have you ever taught while pregnant?

Outfit details:
Anthro top and skirt
Chloé flats

Some outfits from the summer

With Labor Day behind us, I wanted to share a few outfits I never got around to posting. Both are from earlier in my second trimester so in both I look smaller than I do today. But with the temperatures still swelling, I expect I will be recycling these looks for a few more weeks. Thank goodness for elastic waistbands.

A surprising plus of this pregnancy has been last summer's clutch purchase of the Ancient Myths maxi skirt from Anthropologie. I didn't anticipate how useful its stretchy ruched waist would become. I've worn it often and the print is just distracting enough to feel like a decent belly mask.

Less adept at masking was this Max Studio foldover waist skirt with Bailey 44 column-esque stripes. Although the stripes trick the eye, because I didn't tuck my tee, the belly is pretty obvious.

Outfit 1:
Ancient Myths Maxi Skirt from Anthro, summer 2011 (similar)
Gap tee
BP sandals from Nordstrom

Outfit 2:
MaxStudio maxi skirt from Marshalls (similar)
Gap tee
Kate Spade Daycation tote (recent version on sale here)
Etro sunglasses

Masking vs emphasizing

Although the option to mask my growing belly decreases with every passing week, there are still some clothes that make it less apparent. The above is not one such example and that is fine with me.   On Thursday at the farmer's market when I was wearing this outfit, I had the first person (a neighbor) notice the change in my shape enough to ask without trepidation when I am due. So that was exciting in its own way.

Even though I don't like for my body to broadcast messages absent from my voice, the reality of nonverbal communication is that clothing worn on the body will often do that already. It also follows that in this celebrity-bump-watch-obsessed world, similar notions about bodies in transition would trickle into the everyday and mundane to cause the development of a pronounced stomach (where there was once a visible waistline) to yield speculation.

I am really lucky that I've yet to have bold strangers attempt or ask to touch my stomach. Family have asked which is fine with me. But no strangers and no friends so far. I also know that when the weather cools, layers will add additional possibilities to a masking repertoire, should I want one. But of late I haven't really tried to mask anything.

BTW, you can always check in on my expanding waistline and weekly belly shots here.

Details:
St. Johns Bay kimono maxi dress (gift from my mom who generously treated me to a bunch of pregnancy-friendly clothes last week. This one is SO comfy! Note that it is not a maternity dress but works great as one) (here it is in another print)
Chloé zipper flats (similar zipper flats here and here)

Day Tripper

This year, I've tried to hunker down in preparation for some big life changes to come. It has meant that my summer travel plans were kept to a minimum. Although I find myself itching to lay on a beach somewhere warm, it doesn't make sense in terms of the lost writing time or my finances. After San Diego in April and New York in May, Chris and I have not ventured far outside of the greater Pittsburgh area. We will be going to New Orleans in September for a conference, but otherwise no big trips are on the horizon. I will be presenting at my field's major conference in November, but I have to do so remotely, as I will be too pregnant to fly by then.

To combat our wanderlust, we've taken a few fun, interesting day trips that don't require the same level of commitment as more elaborate vacations. And last weekend we went to the lake to spend some time outside.

Although it was pretty chilly, Speck loved it!

We brought some picnic friendly foods and had lunch outside.

Outfit details:
Old Navy Maternity maxi dress (similar; similar maternity)
Levis denim jacket (similar)
Coach flats
YSL sunglasses
Oasap newspaper print bag (c/o)

Chris is wearing:
J. Crew shorts 
Rag and Bone pullover (striped version here)
LL Bean rain jacket
Pittsburgh Pirates hat (from Mitchell and Ness)
Sperry Topsiders

Dressing Room OOTD

I wore this to do some baby registry edits with my mom this week. While at the Galleria I stopped in Anthro just to see what was available and stretchy. This dress was a very cheap buy from Old Navy Maternity but I think I could wear it next summer if maxi dresses continue to be "in." Bonus side view on the border between 22 and 23 weeks:

For regular bump progress, you can follow my pregnancy here.

Details:
Old Navy Maternity Dress (FYI, fits large to size compared with pre-pregnancy ON size) (similar maternity; similar non-maternity)
Coach flats
Target Go Collection necklace of yesteryear and target bracelet
Betsey Johnson watch (similar)
Carolee travel charm bracelet (c/o) (similar)
Michelle Franz bag (similar)

What I Wore to a Picnic Wedding plus my Kate Spade haul

On Saturday Chris and I headed north of Pittsburgh to a family farm that provided the backdrop for a wedding. A friend of Chris's from high school (and perhaps even earlier) was getting married and we were excited to attend. If you follow me on Instagram, you've already seen this. But I figured I would share it because it showcases one of the elastic waist skirts I am so grateful to have purchased from Anthropologie. I've worn this skirt a ton in the last few (very hot) weeks. It is light enough to keep me comfortable and cool but interesting enough that I still feel pulled together. I paired it with a Kate Spade rosette top, purchased last summer.

Speaking of Kate Spade, the extra 25% off promo from the other week was relaunched in honor of the Fourth of July so be sure to check that out! Above is the pretty tissue that covered my own sale purchase. I decided that because my Bon Shopper totes are among the most useful and complimented bags I carry, I should snag the very cool map print one that was steeply discounted on the website.

Kate Spade Streets of New York Bon Shopper

Here's another included in the sale

Today I'm trying to resist buying the matching accessories (also on sale with an extra 25% off) here, here, and here. You can see my other favorites from the sale (most of which are still in stock!) by reading this post. This combined with Anthro's additional 25% off sale clothes (see the full list and details at Effortless Anthropologie) makes for a very wallet-unfriendly 3rd of July!

My Anthro at Gabes Haul

Although I didn't find much in West Mifflin, I stopped by the Greensburg Gabriel Brothers this week and found some wool scarves, a pair of Lilka lounge pants, and the beautiful silk Wave Washed maxi dress in perfect condition. The plaid infinity scarf with wooden beads and the maxi dress were in my cart to purchase from the website not that long ago so I felt pretty lucky to finally get to buy them (and for way less than I almost spent). I was thrilled with the Greensburg selection although it took a bit of combing. Some of the Anthropologie items were integrated with general women's clearance racks. I recall also seeing some Moth cardigans (boyfriend and cropped), a few ivory embroidered Anna Sui for Anthropologie dresses, two blousey Ella Moss tops, and a Free People slip.

As a side note, if you need a wintery coat, Gabes has a lot of options right now. I saw some nice Miss Sixty ones on clearance. And stuff that looked like these Helly Hansen ski jackets from Outwood Sports.

Did any other SWPA Anthrophiles score at their nearby Gabes?

Weekend buys

Mrs. Roper Tory Burch maxi dress
Similar here and here

Although I've not been shopping much, there are a few things that tempted me enough to bite. Consuming strategically still poses its challenges. For deal hunters and shopaholics alike, just about any purchase can be rationalized. I admire those who have managed to abstain fully from consumerism (like The Year of Nothing New). But making do or doing without can be easier said than done!

I have been trying my best to limit the impact of sale goggles. I've avoided the kind of shopping that is basically meandering (less temptation). And I've not had time to scour my favorite websites to glimpse all the pretty fall fashions. Still, end of season clearances make now a great time to buy a bathing suit or a summer dress. Because I have a trip planned for December (that will yield the opportunity to wear summery clothes) I sniped the above maxi dress by Tory Burch on ebay and I bought a new swimsuit on clearance from figleaves.com. 

Rachel Comey Barbaro Deluxe 
Similar Comeys but with triple buckles here

I also wanted a new pair of booties for fall. I have suede ankle boots by Rosegold that I wore all the time last winter. Regular leather will be even more versatile for Pittsburgh. I tracked down a pair I loved and for a price I could swallow. The current season Rachel Comey Barbaros were out of my budget at retail, but I found these studded Deluxe booties gently used. I am really happy with these purchases!

Maximum Skirt

Kate Spade Rosette Top

Maxi skirt from anthro

Chloe flats

My mom's vintage wooden bracelet

Although I could probably wear it into fall and beyond, I am wearing this maxi skirt like an arbitrary expiration date is approaching. That is, when I am at home. School started this week and I've been swamped with campus business. When I'm not on campus I am trying to wrap up some summer projects. I plan to hunker down a bit this weekend to be as productive as possible. I haven't had much free time to go through my google reader either. Hopefully this time next week I have a handle on all the things again.

There's still a little bit of time to enter the Shabby Apple Giveaway! Just click on the image at the top of the right hand side bar for details.

What I ended up wearing to the faculty retreat

Ancient Myths maxi skirt

Limited (via Gabes) dress shirt

Delman wedged sandals (via Gabes, via Erin of Shoe Love)

I was very grateful for the input everyone offered about the appropriate attire for a faculty retreat. It became clear that if I wore the Babergh, I was going to be too dressed up and uncomfortable for a full day of strategic planning meetings in July. People were dressed less casually than I predicted so I fit right in, wearing the cotton Theory dress on day one. But I noticed many of my female colleagues wearing bright colors and maxi skirts with sandals. For day two, I took their lead. It was less hot and I was quite comfortable! I feel a little stumpy to be wearing a maxi length, but I love the print so much that I decided to keep this skirt.

Bathing Suit Season and Body Anxieties

The cheapest maxi dress coverup I could find at Gabes

Chris in Buzios

Memorial Day marks the official opening of swimming pool season around these parts (though sadly for me but smartly for local families, the Pittsburgh city pools wait until the end of the public school year to open). Although I bought a bathing suit before my December trip to Brazil, I am always on the look out for swimwear that can support a bustier bosom. I've come to adore the Triumph For Your Curves brand (even if the name is silly) for their fun prints and wide range of bikini tops with underwire (sized like bras in a wide range of cup sizes, and everything!). I've also heard great things about the Figleaves in-house brands (Midnight Grace, etc.) and Freya, though I cannot speak to their longevity or support from personal experience. 

Although I have far from what most would consider a bikini body, I started wearing one within the last year or so. I decided that I was sick of tankinis (since I always pulled up the tank part of the top to sun worship) and one pieces (which made going to the bathroom a pain in the butt). I am no stranger to those body image issues that effect most of us. But I have come to feel relatively bold when it comes to swimwear, especially during out of town travel. It already helps when you are in a place where no one knows you except for your travel partner(s). But when you couple it with the relatively exposed swimwear culture of Brazil, I was even more confident running around, flabby body and all.

As examined in this entry from feminist fashion blogger Millie of Interrobangs Anonymous and posted on the website of MrsBossaDoesTheDo, vacations carry liberatory and experimental potential. An otherwise safe, static style identity can try new things without the watchfuls eyes of preconceived expectations. I wrote in the comments section:

There is something really liberating about being in a place where no one knows me (except the person with who I am traveling). Fewer expectations and fewer closet options mean that I am simultaneously less and more confined, if that makes sense. I don’t have to feel like I am dressing my usual “part” because I won’t see anyone who usually sees me but I have such a smaller range of options because I tend to try to pack lightly. 

One of my favorite things about traveling to Brazil last December was how completely body unconscious people were on the beaches. Granted, my boyshort bottoms had more coverage than most of the men’s trunks, but I found it really refreshing to see women of all ages and shapes and sizes wearing the tiniest of bikini styles without reservation. I wonder on some level if this is merely a product of availability? If swimsuit retailers there only sell tiny suits, then everyone has to wear them by default. But those typical anxieties about how my body looked on the beach (the feelings that I try to fight because they run so contrary to my feminist beliefs) were a little less intense as a result. I felt comfortable because 1. no one knew me and 2. everyone there wore tiny bikinis, making my less-tiny-but-still-bikini style seem modest. 

I obviously cannot speak for the women who live in Brazil (a culture where I have read that plastic surgery and plastic surgery tourism are more common and less costly than in the US, and gender roles/expectations for conventional femininity remain relatively rigid in part because of ongoing influences of the Catholic faith and the prevailing traditional standards of beauty). But for me it felt really powerful to walk around the beach without a coverup and without the same anxieties about body judgments.

Are you ready (I mean emotionally, not physically) for bathing suit season? I'm trying to get back to how I felt in December, regardless of the location of the pool or beach... But I've got a ways to go. 

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