So many reasons to give thanks

On this Thanksgiving Day in 2012, I feel not only very pregnant with an active and (from all indications) healthy fetus, but I am pregnant with much good fortune. Although my life is far from perfect, I know that it suits me and my so-called problems are manageable, particularly when I think about them in juxtaposition with the legitimate hardship and challenges facing so many others in America and around the world. The opportunity to give thanks should not only be about counting one's blessings but also about thinking creatively and with generosity through the myriad of ways to pay forward one's good fortune. Whether it be through volunteering, through monetary or material donation, through kindness, or through key moments of empathetic exchange with others, there are very many avenues through which to do just that.

I love this holiday for a bunch of reasons that I've counted in previous posts. But to reiterate, I love that Thanksgiving is a secular national holiday. If we discount Black Friday's growing encroachment, it's not at all about material acquisition (more on that tomorrow). Thanksgiving also involves an inordinate amount of food, side dishes, and desserts. But most of all, it encourages people to linger in the space of gratitude for longer than they would otherwise. And for a lot of us, that practice of giving thanks gets ritualized and shared around the table with loved ones. Since I was a child my family has been in the habit of going around the room and talking about the aspects of life for which we're grateful.

This year I am so thankful for my loved ones who have been incredibly enthusiastic and supportive of this new family-friendly venture that my partner and I have decided to pursue. I am thankful to be adequately insured and have access to capable medical care. I am thankful for my job and for understanding coworkers (who treat me and my impending maternity leave as something to celebrate rather than be burdened from). I am thankful for my students who not only motivate me to want to learn more, try harder, be better, etc., but who have been very sweet and caring in response to my "delicate' condition. I am thankful for my partner who is as kind, generous, supportive, and loving as he is hilarious, whip-smart, and hardworking. I am thankful for our parents who will give our child a grandparenting experience 6-persons strong! As someone who grew up knowing only one of her grandparents, it is not lost on my how unique and lucky she'll be. I am thankful for so much more than I can articulate in such a confined writerly space. 

Most of the time I believe that the world could use more gratitude and more hefty helpings of empathy. But on this particular holiday it feels as if we collectively come a bit closer to reaching our "thankful" and reflective potential. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!!

Here are some organizations that do a lot of good locally:

Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank
Women's Center and Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh
Family House
Women and Girls Foundation
Blackburn Center Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
Pittsburgh Promise
The Pittsburgh Foundation

Two years ago...

We spent the day enveloped by love. I feel more lucky and more in love with every passing moment and milestone. And in just two months we'll have made our duo into three. I can't anticipate fully how our lives will change. I can't know for certain that everything is going to get even better. Things have been so good already. And I imagine some things we take for granted will become a lot harder. But I do know that I am excited immensely to parent with my partner in life and love. He is a great husband and he's going to be an amazing dad. Happy Anniversary! 

All about my mothers

I've been thinking a lot lately about my mother and the other maternal figures in my life (especially my mother-in-law, my step-mother-in-law, and my aunts), as we approach this weekend's Mother's Day. There are so many positive ways in which familial and/or mentoring women have made an imprint on me. I think of the many moments in my life when I have needed support, encouragement, and words of wisdom from these women. And it has been given from them, unconditionally, without reservation, and without condescension. With empathy, understanding, and love... what a wonderful gift!

It heartens me to think about my mothers' relationships with their sisters and with their children. As a feminist scholar I also find myself thinking about family histories and the various women who shaped the mothers I know and love. I've been thinking a lot about my grandmothers, for example.

Although this holiday has become imbued with commercialism and notions about emotional expression via consumerism, it still strikes me as an opportunity for reflection and gratitude. And so, at the start of this weekend I already feel overcome with reverence for women as influencers, mentors, and maternal presences. Happy Mother's Day weekend to you and yours!

Gifts 2010 vs 2011

The tree is trimmed and Speck is glad. She loves relaxing underneath with the presents. I really relish this time of year! The reruns of classic movies! The lights! The singing (obnoxious corporate big box ads, notwithstanding)! Last year Chris and I were apart while he conducted field work toward his dissertation in South America. I was adjusting to my new job and what it meant to be on the tenure track as faculty. My sense of holiday anticipation in 2010 was dominated by our impending reunion in Rio de Janeiro, where we honeymooned. All these anxieties made trimming the tree and shopping for gifts feel a bit harried. Although I was fortunate to be surrounded by friends and family when Chris was away, the distance was starting to wear on me. It can be so easy to take for granted the emotional support of a mundane routine. And everything about our time apart felt transitional. Combining the newness of my job, the hectic schedule of getting married that fall, the worry I felt when Chris was in Caracas, specifically, and the general stress of being apart from your partner, I was way off my gift game.

Sure, wedding photos provided plenty of parental gift fodder. And I did my best to be thrifty and selective with siblings, girlfriends, and coworkers. But I didn't even finish until the day before Christmas.

This year we have more plans to travel over holiday break. But with Chris home, work calm, and life routinized, I decided to be organized, completing a lot of my gift shopping early. I am 95% finished, including wrapping. And if I was confident that my giftees were unaware of my blog, I'd share what I bought. I LOVE buying gifts for those who are dear to me. But the one thing I am not so good at is being patient by preserving surprises. I cannot tell you how many times I've begged Chris to accept his birthday or Christmas presents early. And he isn't the only one I've forced early gifts upon. As soon as I get home to visit my parents, I start pestering them to see if they'd be open to opening something early. They're steadfast in their refusal which I respect. I imagine I'd have less restraint if the roles were reversed.

Once the last gift arrives they start to burn holes under my tree. The waiting feels impossible! Hopefully the travel will provide enough distraction.

BTW, I have a new article up on CBS Pittsburgh's website. It examines how to shop for winter boots. Be sure to check it out!