Harem Pants

Harem Pants. They are everywhere. But you will not find them on adult me. I wore them in the early 90s. I was probably around 11 at the time. And I have to be honest. I LOVED them. They were silk and billowy, and adorned with a paisley print.

Now Anthropologie and Forever 21 (to name only a few of the mass, chain retailers) are trying to sell them to me again. Anthro actually has a WHOLE section dedicated to harem pants, some of which include the increasingly popular "drop crotch." The drop crotch phenomenon is a detail that I have affectionate rebranded as, "dumps like a truck." And I don't mean the type of dumps Sisco discussed in "The Thong Song."

screen grab from Anthro's website
Note the "view all harems" link!

I have yet to see these look "right" on someone who is not model-tall and model thin. And even when they look "right" they are still just off in a fashion victimy sense. My 5'3", fairly-stout body + drop crotch/harem pants = a catastrophe of hilarious proportions.

Perhaps it is fashion un-forward of me, perhaps you will argue that "we all said that about skinny jeans," perhaps it will betray my age to be so unwilling to revive this aspect of late 80s/early 90s style. Maybe it makes me seem out of touch? But as god is my witness, I will never wear harem pants again!